“and to know the Messiah’s love that surpasses knowledge, so that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.” Ephesians 3: 19
I heard recently that the little phrase here ‘be filled’ in the Greek carries with it the idea of total dominance by God of the Christian. That’s a little different from the idea I had previously held. Total dominance? But really I shouldn’t be surprised because the Bible is full of this idea - I have come across it before. God has never been interested in an offering of part of our heart. He wants to own all, control all, dominate all.
Still we flinch and ask ‘is there is not a better word? Guide perhaps or suggest - ah yes, doesn’t that sound nicer?’ We would indeed be much more comfortable with God as co-pilot. Our sinful hearts want to keep part of the ruling of our lives for ourselves.
Isn’t that one of the deep down reasons we hate illness. Looking beyond the doctor trips, expenses and bodily pain is it not the dominating factor that really rankles us? This invader has taken over command of our body. Like a puppet master it pulls those strings and our body obeys. No manner of persuasive arguments can cause it to hand us back the reigns and so teeth clenched we have to submit.
Now of course being in charge of our own bodies was an illusion in the first place. We have always been human and as such had to follow certain rules; eating - sleeping - not pushing ourselves to far - but illusion or no at least before we felt in control. Then it was not so frightening.
It is the same with our lives. We want to rule not be dominated - maybe that is part of why God sent us this illness in the first place. Because the surest path to disaster is labeled ‘my way’ and the only place of joy is called ‘God’s way’… be filled…
In Strong’s I find other ideas pertaining to this phrase.
‘to make replete’ - literally ‘to cram’
Ah, that one makes me smile. If we are crammed full of God how much room is there left for anything else?
level up a hollow - that one I understand. When we are reigning our lives are hollow, are they not?
perfect, supply - something else God wants me to understand. Full of Him I am perfected and all my needs supplied.
So what does being filled have to do with illness? Simply this. We need not writhe so hard fighting for our bodily independence if we realize that we are not at the core meant to be independent creatures after all. And then if we are filled with, crammed full, our hollow leveled, dominated by God - then is this illness really in control after all?
“For this reason I bow my knees to the Father…that YOU may be filled”
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
the wilderness
Have you spent much time thinking about Joseph’s life? You know the coat of many colors Joseph who’s story is found in the book of Genesis. What part of his story comes to mind most vividly? Do you think first about his reign in Egypt, or how he saved so many people from certain death during the famine, or maybe it is the intense reunion with his brothers that is your favorite part of the drama. All of those things to me define Joseph’s life. There is another part of his life though, that amidst all the glory we often over look. Have you ever pondered those seven years Joseph spent in prison? It is easy to not look at that too closely. Maybe it just doesn’t sound too bad to us after all he was well liked there and even got put in charge of the other prisoners. Honestly though would any of us like to spend seven years in prison under any conditions? Put yourself in Joseph’s shoes. The only ‘crime’ he had committed was to say no to sin now here he is stuck in prison who knows for how long of a stay. Don’t you think he must have wondered at least once what God was doing? Do you think he ever doubted the goodness of God’s plan for his life as year after year went by? Do you think he ever questioned if there even was a plan? So much of what we know of Joseph’s life is thrilling, triumphant, dramatic - obviously God ordained. But this? I mean why? What was God up to during those seven long years? What was the plan? Was He just storing Joseph in a safe place “I’ll be back when I need you just sit tight in the mean time” I don’t think so! So what…
Then there is Moses. What do we think about when pondering his life? Bulrushes, parting the red sea, manna, 40 years in the desert leading the Israelites…of course. But what about that part where he flees from Pharaoh and ends up spending a long time sheep herding in the wilderness. Sure great things were coming but Moses didn’t know that! Do you suppose he ever thought that God had abandoned Him? Or at least that there must no be much of a plan for his life? Anyway if Moses did not wonder I sure do! What was God doing? What good thing was buried in those many seemingly empty, unprofitable years?
Well truthfully I don’t know. I could venture a few guesses I suppose but that is all they would be, guesses, as easily wrong as right. What we can be confident about is that God was indeed doing something. Very probably that something was very important, iatrical in fact for, the later astonishing parts of these two men’s ministry. I also know that God tends to use similar tactics. You can search the rest of the Bible and find lots of other people who went through desert times. Why? because God got messed up on the time scale “oops you were born too soon, I won’t need you for another twenty years, so just stay put ’til I’m ready”? Because God only had plans for a portion of their life and the rest, well, just wasn’t important? No! No! No! Heaven forbid we should paint such a degrading picture of our amazing God out of our own frustration. If this is how we feel we don’t need a better plan for our life we need a more accurate view of God.
“Your eyes saw me when I was formless; all my days were written in Your book and planned before a single one of them began.” Psalm 139:16
Not a few of my days - not some of your days - ALL Yes, even these wilderness days you are wandering in now.
“The Lord’s burning anger will not turn back until He has completely fulfilled the purposes of His heart. In time to come you will understand it.” Jeremiah 30:24
In time to come…but we don’t want that do we? We want to know now. Waiting, well, it’s not our strong point and what’s more we have trust issues. Take heart my fellow sufferers! No matter what your emotions may scream at you, you can be sure your wilderness is not empty. On the contrary it is a good indication that God has some amazing things in store for you. Are you ready?
Every time another saint becomes ill Job popularity stats must rise. In the record of his’ life we get an inside peak at heaven’s perspective on an earthly trial. Poor Job hasn’t a clue why all of these horrible things are happening to him, but God does. So does Satan for that matter. The heavenly hosts are watching, how will Job respond. Well at first Job is patient and chooses to trust His creator but eventually discouragement sets in. Listen to what Job says.
“As God lives, who has deprived me of justice, and the Almighty who has made my life bitter,” (Job 27:2) “If only I could be as in months gone by, in the days when God watched over me, when His lamp shone above my head,…when God’s friendship rested on my tent.” (Job29:2-4)
Sound familiar anyone? Is there any of us who has not cried something similar. Does God just take this accusation from Job. Does He agree through silence that He has indeed abandoned Job and deprived this his servant of justice. I don’t think so!
“Then the Lord answered Job from the whirlwind; Get ready to answer Me like a man;…Would you really challenge My justice?…” Job 40:7-8
How foolish to challenge God and His plans, to conclude in our ignorance that He has forgotten us or made a mistake. The book of Job shows us that there is so much of the picture we can not see.
Job response to God is “…Surely I spoke about things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know.” Job 42:3
I know it is easy to do - but just don’t doubt God in your wilderness. Surround yourself with the truth. Read the lives of great men and women who have gone before us. Recognize their wildernesses. Search for the plan. Rejoice when God moves them on. Then trust their God, who is your God, to do the same for you.
Then there is Moses. What do we think about when pondering his life? Bulrushes, parting the red sea, manna, 40 years in the desert leading the Israelites…of course. But what about that part where he flees from Pharaoh and ends up spending a long time sheep herding in the wilderness. Sure great things were coming but Moses didn’t know that! Do you suppose he ever thought that God had abandoned Him? Or at least that there must no be much of a plan for his life? Anyway if Moses did not wonder I sure do! What was God doing? What good thing was buried in those many seemingly empty, unprofitable years?
Well truthfully I don’t know. I could venture a few guesses I suppose but that is all they would be, guesses, as easily wrong as right. What we can be confident about is that God was indeed doing something. Very probably that something was very important, iatrical in fact for, the later astonishing parts of these two men’s ministry. I also know that God tends to use similar tactics. You can search the rest of the Bible and find lots of other people who went through desert times. Why? because God got messed up on the time scale “oops you were born too soon, I won’t need you for another twenty years, so just stay put ’til I’m ready”? Because God only had plans for a portion of their life and the rest, well, just wasn’t important? No! No! No! Heaven forbid we should paint such a degrading picture of our amazing God out of our own frustration. If this is how we feel we don’t need a better plan for our life we need a more accurate view of God.
“Your eyes saw me when I was formless; all my days were written in Your book and planned before a single one of them began.” Psalm 139:16
Not a few of my days - not some of your days - ALL Yes, even these wilderness days you are wandering in now.
“The Lord’s burning anger will not turn back until He has completely fulfilled the purposes of His heart. In time to come you will understand it.” Jeremiah 30:24
In time to come…but we don’t want that do we? We want to know now. Waiting, well, it’s not our strong point and what’s more we have trust issues. Take heart my fellow sufferers! No matter what your emotions may scream at you, you can be sure your wilderness is not empty. On the contrary it is a good indication that God has some amazing things in store for you. Are you ready?
Every time another saint becomes ill Job popularity stats must rise. In the record of his’ life we get an inside peak at heaven’s perspective on an earthly trial. Poor Job hasn’t a clue why all of these horrible things are happening to him, but God does. So does Satan for that matter. The heavenly hosts are watching, how will Job respond. Well at first Job is patient and chooses to trust His creator but eventually discouragement sets in. Listen to what Job says.
“As God lives, who has deprived me of justice, and the Almighty who has made my life bitter,” (Job 27:2) “If only I could be as in months gone by, in the days when God watched over me, when His lamp shone above my head,…when God’s friendship rested on my tent.” (Job29:2-4)
Sound familiar anyone? Is there any of us who has not cried something similar. Does God just take this accusation from Job. Does He agree through silence that He has indeed abandoned Job and deprived this his servant of justice. I don’t think so!
“Then the Lord answered Job from the whirlwind; Get ready to answer Me like a man;…Would you really challenge My justice?…” Job 40:7-8
How foolish to challenge God and His plans, to conclude in our ignorance that He has forgotten us or made a mistake. The book of Job shows us that there is so much of the picture we can not see.
Job response to God is “…Surely I spoke about things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know.” Job 42:3
I know it is easy to do - but just don’t doubt God in your wilderness. Surround yourself with the truth. Read the lives of great men and women who have gone before us. Recognize their wildernesses. Search for the plan. Rejoice when God moves them on. Then trust their God, who is your God, to do the same for you.
Monday, November 4, 2013
not far
Chronic illness drains us. It touches every area of life; physical, mental, emotional, relational… But I think the place we are last to recognize it’s damage is in our spiritual life. Sometimes we have moments of inspiration, flashes of revelation in our sickness, however often God begins to feel very far away. And that hurts. Here we are at a time in our life where we need Him desperately - but we can not feel Him. If there was ever a time we wished for God to be visible it is now. We want to see His face, hear his voice, and feel His arms around us. Instead we are in a fog, a desert place, alone. Or so it seems
I came across a verse one morning that changed my view of our ’invisible’ God. In Acts the Bible describes Paul’s visit to Athens and his preaching of the gospel at Areopagus. Look at what he tells them about God. “From one man He has made every nation of men to live all over the earth and has determined their appointed times and the boundaries of where they live, so that they might seek God, and perhaps they might reach out and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us.” (Acts 17:26-27) Did you hear that beautiful promise from God’s word? He - the God of creation, so loves us with an everlasting love - is not, is never, far from each one of us. And the Holy Spirit uses very human, very close words here, ‘reach out’. Think about it. No matter where you are at this moment sitting in your chair, staring at this computer screen God is right there. He is so close you can reach out and ‘touch’ Him. God does not play peek-abo with us from heaven. He does not come by once a month to make a house call. No matter how you may feel He is always, always near. God is closer than any person you can touch, more real than anything you can see. Isn’t that amazingly comforting?! Listen as Paul goes on.
“For in Him we live and move and exist,…” Acts 17:28
Wow! If only we could grasp this what a difference it would make in our lives! Truly we can grasp it but it takes time, effort, and the work of the Holy Spirit. A good place to begin is by asking God for a greater awareness of His presence every day. Just because we do not recognize God around us does not mean we can not and truly He desires even more than we do for us to know that He is there. We would also do well to remind ourselves of God’s nearness throughout the day. It is necessary to fight this lie of the devil, that God is far away from us in our trial, with the truth. Lies do not die easily but the truth is far stronger. During this weak time in your faith allow the truth and God to fight for you. If all you can do is repeat to yourself “He is not far!” do not worry. It is enough for now.
I came across a verse one morning that changed my view of our ’invisible’ God. In Acts the Bible describes Paul’s visit to Athens and his preaching of the gospel at Areopagus. Look at what he tells them about God. “From one man He has made every nation of men to live all over the earth and has determined their appointed times and the boundaries of where they live, so that they might seek God, and perhaps they might reach out and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us.” (Acts 17:26-27) Did you hear that beautiful promise from God’s word? He - the God of creation, so loves us with an everlasting love - is not, is never, far from each one of us. And the Holy Spirit uses very human, very close words here, ‘reach out’. Think about it. No matter where you are at this moment sitting in your chair, staring at this computer screen God is right there. He is so close you can reach out and ‘touch’ Him. God does not play peek-abo with us from heaven. He does not come by once a month to make a house call. No matter how you may feel He is always, always near. God is closer than any person you can touch, more real than anything you can see. Isn’t that amazingly comforting?! Listen as Paul goes on.
“For in Him we live and move and exist,…” Acts 17:28
Wow! If only we could grasp this what a difference it would make in our lives! Truly we can grasp it but it takes time, effort, and the work of the Holy Spirit. A good place to begin is by asking God for a greater awareness of His presence every day. Just because we do not recognize God around us does not mean we can not and truly He desires even more than we do for us to know that He is there. We would also do well to remind ourselves of God’s nearness throughout the day. It is necessary to fight this lie of the devil, that God is far away from us in our trial, with the truth. Lies do not die easily but the truth is far stronger. During this weak time in your faith allow the truth and God to fight for you. If all you can do is repeat to yourself “He is not far!” do not worry. It is enough for now.
Monday, September 23, 2013
last hope?
Every search for health has periods of waiting and very often some of those waiting periods bring you face to face with a brick wall. I was in one of those times and beginning to feel a little desperate. During all my other waiting periods up to this point things had still been happening, just slowly. Wheels were turning, behind the scene stuff was getting done, but now the ball was in our court and we seemed to have no where to send it.
Then God moved through another member of the body of Christ. A doctor made an exception for me and I had an appointment with a specialist. Sitting there hearing the news I wanted to cry. A month seemed an eternity to wait but finally we could once again see ahead of us.
Maybe it was the long wait, maybe it was the fact that this doctor specialized in problems like mine, but for whatever reason I started hanging a lot on this appointment. “If anyone could help me this doctor can” I thought “and if no one can help me…well we won’t go there.” What I was doing did not dawn on me however until I was sitting there one day and thought to myself “this doctor is my last hope” All of a sudden my internal radar went off. “Wait a minute Rachel what did you just say?! This person is your last hope?? Since when do you place your hope in people anyway? And last hope - please! No human being should ever be your last hope. Who are you trusting anyway? Can this doctor heal you? Or if he has no options do you think God has run out of options too? Where are you putting God in your life anyway?” It was a little shocking to realize where I had wandered to, but it is easy to do isn’t it?
We spend so much time going to doctors, asking questions of medical people, taking the advice of specialists, that we sometimes forget - not only are they very human and fallible, they also can not heal us. Only God can do that. Desperation in our journey towards health comes when we leave God out of the picture and start trusting solely in man’s devises. Take heart God is able to heal with a doctor or with out, using medicine, using food, or using only His holy Spirit. No person on earth is ever your last hope. God is your last hope and with Him who needs any other?
It was a good thing God called me on my wrong thinking because this doctor visit ended up being a flop. As disheartening as that was though I came out of there knowing that even if the doctor did not know what was wrong with me God does and He does not need a person to bring me back to health.
Make sure you are looking beyond the people in your life to God Almighty in your illness. Let Him be your hope because only He will never disappoint.
“Why am I so depressed? Why this turmoil within me? Put your hope in God, for I will still praise Him, My Savior and my God” Psalm 42:11
“…I will put my hope in Your name for it is good.” Psalm 52:9
Then God moved through another member of the body of Christ. A doctor made an exception for me and I had an appointment with a specialist. Sitting there hearing the news I wanted to cry. A month seemed an eternity to wait but finally we could once again see ahead of us.
Maybe it was the long wait, maybe it was the fact that this doctor specialized in problems like mine, but for whatever reason I started hanging a lot on this appointment. “If anyone could help me this doctor can” I thought “and if no one can help me…well we won’t go there.” What I was doing did not dawn on me however until I was sitting there one day and thought to myself “this doctor is my last hope” All of a sudden my internal radar went off. “Wait a minute Rachel what did you just say?! This person is your last hope?? Since when do you place your hope in people anyway? And last hope - please! No human being should ever be your last hope. Who are you trusting anyway? Can this doctor heal you? Or if he has no options do you think God has run out of options too? Where are you putting God in your life anyway?” It was a little shocking to realize where I had wandered to, but it is easy to do isn’t it?
We spend so much time going to doctors, asking questions of medical people, taking the advice of specialists, that we sometimes forget - not only are they very human and fallible, they also can not heal us. Only God can do that. Desperation in our journey towards health comes when we leave God out of the picture and start trusting solely in man’s devises. Take heart God is able to heal with a doctor or with out, using medicine, using food, or using only His holy Spirit. No person on earth is ever your last hope. God is your last hope and with Him who needs any other?
It was a good thing God called me on my wrong thinking because this doctor visit ended up being a flop. As disheartening as that was though I came out of there knowing that even if the doctor did not know what was wrong with me God does and He does not need a person to bring me back to health.
Make sure you are looking beyond the people in your life to God Almighty in your illness. Let Him be your hope because only He will never disappoint.
“Why am I so depressed? Why this turmoil within me? Put your hope in God, for I will still praise Him, My Savior and my God” Psalm 42:11
“…I will put my hope in Your name for it is good.” Psalm 52:9
Monday, September 16, 2013
jealousy
“Why do I get to be stuck here in illness while all of my friends move on with life?"
“Why do I get such a lions share of trials when so and so’s life goes along like a song?”
“Doesn’t God have anything for me to do?”
“Couldn’t He give me that kind of miracle?”
Okay so I’ve been doing a little procrastinating on this one. It’s not the most pleasant topic in the world after all and then the truth is I personally have far from mastered the right thoughts and attitudes. Still, ugly as it may be jealousy is an important topic related to illness and so I need to address it, both on this blog and in my own heart.
Jealousy: it is one of those sins that creeps up on you. There you are seemingly minding your own business and then all of a sudden it jumps out and shouts boo! Startled you turn to see it’s ugly face leering at you. “Go away!” you exclaim but it only laughs, because it knows what you don’t - that you are the one who sent the invitation.
Jealousy appears to materialize out of nothing but I think we all know sin better than to believe that. Yes, sometimes those ugly little thoughts pop up with no specific forethought in that direction but there IS a prelude to jealousy and it is called ‘me-focus’. Stop and think about it. If our hearts and minds were directed completely upward and outward jealousy would have no power over us. We would have no time to feel sorry for ourselves or listen to whiny thoughts about why she gets that and I get this because we would be too busy trusting God and rejoicing over others gifts. Me-focus is a hard thing and something I will probably talk about in a later blog post. For now just take some time to soak in this idea of a link between self-centeredness and jealousy. Sometimes we have such a hard time shaking jealousy off our trail because we spend all our effort in plugging our ears and never look behind his lies to see that we are guilty of placing ourselves at the center of our life.
Another step in the spiritual war against jealousy comes when we realize that every jealous thought is a declaration that God is not good. Analyze some of your most prevalent jealousies and I think you will see it. It in essence says “God, what you have given me is not good enough, it is not fair, or kind, or loving - I need something more”. All through the Bible however we are told that not only does God give us everything we need He is Love and Goodness and Justice. When we see our sin in this light we have two options; continue living out blasphemy against God, or reject those thoughts and feelings on this holy ground - I KNOW that my God is love.
When I first noticed this sin’s hold in my life I began to come across scriptures about jealousy and the truth gave me a greater hate for my sin and helped me stay earnest and real in my fight against it. I want to share some of those verses with you now.
“…For love is as strong as death, Jealousy as cruel as the grave;…” Song of Solomon 8:6
“A tranquil heart is life to the body, but jealousy is rottenness to the bones." Proverbs 14:30
“Fury is cruel, and anger is a flood but who can withstand jealousy?" Proverbs 27;4
Knowing my own heart these verses stung and helped me stay serious in my resisting this sin and my prayers to God against it. We truly do need God’s help when it comes to Jealousy. It is a fast growing weed and sends down deep and spiraling roots into our hearts. Thanks be to God! He is able to cleanse us and free us from its clutches.
This has been a pretty straight forward and blunt post thus far. I have written this way both because of my awareness of my own personal need for truth in this area and also because of the very severe way God speaks about jealousy in His word. However I can not end this post with out a small shift in direction.
You see I do know how hard it is to be left behind. To have to sit on the road of life and watch everyone else run past you on to greater and more glorious things, disappearing in a cloud of dust. Dust tastes bitter on the detours of life. I know the pain of being jealous because my hands are now too weak to give and minister and love. Wanting to serve here and there but knowing it must wait indefinitely. There is a deep pain in being forced to lay aside all hopes and dreams and to be left with a seemingly blank future. Feeling your own undesireableness because of your physical weakness. Yes I know and I am not the only one who knows. God knows. He does not know in an impersonal way. Our Father does not just look down from heaven and ’know’ our thoughts. He abides in us, He walks beside us, and He loves us with an everlasting love. Just like a mother’s heart aches when her children are hurt so God's heart also aches for you. Your pain hurts Him, your grief moves Him, your tears find Him. In anger you may then cry out “if that is true then why doesn’t He take the reason for my pain away?”. The best answer I have for that is summed up in these words I once heard. ‘If I had the power of God I would change my circumstances. If I had the wisdom of God I wouldn’t’ Don’t be afraid to tell God what you wish you had, humbly and with tears. He knows that we are but dust and He will never despise a broken spirit. Let Him help you as you struggle with this sin. Revel and rest in His enormous compassion. Never forget that He cares about your tears - not because they are all shed for righteous reasons- but because He loves you.
“You Yourself have recorded my wandering. Put my tears in Your bottle. Are they not in Your records?” Psalm 56:8
“When the Lord saw her He had compassion on her and said, ‘Don’t cry.’ Luke 7:13
“…I pray that you, being rooted and firmly established in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the length and width, height and depth of God’s love, and to know the Messiah’s love that surpasses knowledge, so you may be filled with all the fullness of God.” Ephesians 3:17-19
“Why do I get such a lions share of trials when so and so’s life goes along like a song?”
“Doesn’t God have anything for me to do?”
“Couldn’t He give me that kind of miracle?”
Okay so I’ve been doing a little procrastinating on this one. It’s not the most pleasant topic in the world after all and then the truth is I personally have far from mastered the right thoughts and attitudes. Still, ugly as it may be jealousy is an important topic related to illness and so I need to address it, both on this blog and in my own heart.
Jealousy: it is one of those sins that creeps up on you. There you are seemingly minding your own business and then all of a sudden it jumps out and shouts boo! Startled you turn to see it’s ugly face leering at you. “Go away!” you exclaim but it only laughs, because it knows what you don’t - that you are the one who sent the invitation.
Jealousy appears to materialize out of nothing but I think we all know sin better than to believe that. Yes, sometimes those ugly little thoughts pop up with no specific forethought in that direction but there IS a prelude to jealousy and it is called ‘me-focus’. Stop and think about it. If our hearts and minds were directed completely upward and outward jealousy would have no power over us. We would have no time to feel sorry for ourselves or listen to whiny thoughts about why she gets that and I get this because we would be too busy trusting God and rejoicing over others gifts. Me-focus is a hard thing and something I will probably talk about in a later blog post. For now just take some time to soak in this idea of a link between self-centeredness and jealousy. Sometimes we have such a hard time shaking jealousy off our trail because we spend all our effort in plugging our ears and never look behind his lies to see that we are guilty of placing ourselves at the center of our life.
Another step in the spiritual war against jealousy comes when we realize that every jealous thought is a declaration that God is not good. Analyze some of your most prevalent jealousies and I think you will see it. It in essence says “God, what you have given me is not good enough, it is not fair, or kind, or loving - I need something more”. All through the Bible however we are told that not only does God give us everything we need He is Love and Goodness and Justice. When we see our sin in this light we have two options; continue living out blasphemy against God, or reject those thoughts and feelings on this holy ground - I KNOW that my God is love.
When I first noticed this sin’s hold in my life I began to come across scriptures about jealousy and the truth gave me a greater hate for my sin and helped me stay earnest and real in my fight against it. I want to share some of those verses with you now.
“…For love is as strong as death, Jealousy as cruel as the grave;…” Song of Solomon 8:6
“A tranquil heart is life to the body, but jealousy is rottenness to the bones." Proverbs 14:30
“Fury is cruel, and anger is a flood but who can withstand jealousy?" Proverbs 27;4
Knowing my own heart these verses stung and helped me stay serious in my resisting this sin and my prayers to God against it. We truly do need God’s help when it comes to Jealousy. It is a fast growing weed and sends down deep and spiraling roots into our hearts. Thanks be to God! He is able to cleanse us and free us from its clutches.
This has been a pretty straight forward and blunt post thus far. I have written this way both because of my awareness of my own personal need for truth in this area and also because of the very severe way God speaks about jealousy in His word. However I can not end this post with out a small shift in direction.
You see I do know how hard it is to be left behind. To have to sit on the road of life and watch everyone else run past you on to greater and more glorious things, disappearing in a cloud of dust. Dust tastes bitter on the detours of life. I know the pain of being jealous because my hands are now too weak to give and minister and love. Wanting to serve here and there but knowing it must wait indefinitely. There is a deep pain in being forced to lay aside all hopes and dreams and to be left with a seemingly blank future. Feeling your own undesireableness because of your physical weakness. Yes I know and I am not the only one who knows. God knows. He does not know in an impersonal way. Our Father does not just look down from heaven and ’know’ our thoughts. He abides in us, He walks beside us, and He loves us with an everlasting love. Just like a mother’s heart aches when her children are hurt so God's heart also aches for you. Your pain hurts Him, your grief moves Him, your tears find Him. In anger you may then cry out “if that is true then why doesn’t He take the reason for my pain away?”. The best answer I have for that is summed up in these words I once heard. ‘If I had the power of God I would change my circumstances. If I had the wisdom of God I wouldn’t’ Don’t be afraid to tell God what you wish you had, humbly and with tears. He knows that we are but dust and He will never despise a broken spirit. Let Him help you as you struggle with this sin. Revel and rest in His enormous compassion. Never forget that He cares about your tears - not because they are all shed for righteous reasons- but because He loves you.
“You Yourself have recorded my wandering. Put my tears in Your bottle. Are they not in Your records?” Psalm 56:8
“When the Lord saw her He had compassion on her and said, ‘Don’t cry.’ Luke 7:13
“…I pray that you, being rooted and firmly established in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the length and width, height and depth of God’s love, and to know the Messiah’s love that surpasses knowledge, so you may be filled with all the fullness of God.” Ephesians 3:17-19
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