left; part two

Of course there is another side to that coin of being left and I would not be doing it justice or you much good if I neglected it…so here goes part two.

I am afraid that being ill sometimes makes us more sensitive.  The days are long and we are weak and in need of a lot of strength.  It is easy in this compromised state to put too much of a burden on our friends.  We must be careful to not do this as it causes us to become bitter and can destroy a wonderful friendship.

So first off - give people a break!  You don’t know what may be going through their heads.  Maybe there is someone else who is hurting and they are spending time ministering to them.  Perhaps you look outwardly okay to them and they have no idea what you are feeling.  They could think you want to be alone…well don’t you sometimes?  There are a lot of perfectly good reasons the people around you or the people you care about may not be meeting your needs even if they truly want to.  The truth is they are imperfect just like you.  So just let go of your expectations and don’t hold it against them!

Expanding on that imperfect idea it may be helpful to remember back to some of your own shortcomings in this area.  I think if we are honest we have all neglected a good friend a time or two in favor of a good time.  Sad but true.  That does not mean it is easy when we end up on the other end but it does mean that we should have grace and forgiveness for others.  Also once we have been ill for a while and hopefully developed a heightened since of empathy and awareness of other ill people’s feeling it can be easy to think we are perfect in this area.  ‘I would just pick up the phone and call if I had a friend who was sick’  ‘There’s no way you would catch me running off with everyone else and leaving myself…I mean my friend here by herself’  Oh really?  The truth is we have before!  Maybe not in those exact circumstances but many times and in many ways we have failed our friends. 

So if this is a place where you are struggling stop and release it.  Allow love to cover your hurt.  Remember that your friends are not perfect and neither are you!  Forgive them when they fail you with the same abundance of love that God has so very often shown to you.  Then move on to other places.  If you can not find your way out of your hurt then ask the good Shepherd to lead you.  He knows the way