moment by moment

Before I became sick I had not experienced a lot of times where I needed God, or
more truthfully, where I knew I needed God. I need Him all the time every
moment of every day - for that matter every moment at night as well.  However it is
far too easy to forget that. Yes, it is easy to just rush along going from one thing
to the next throwing a prayer heavenward every once in a while like a flare, plowing
through our Bible reading but really living about 99% of our day without a thought
for God. Trials change that. Suddenly we know we need God in a very real very
painful way. Our need presses down on us, consumes us, keeps us constantly on
our knees before Him with an ever present prayer on our lips ‘God I need you for
this’. Our need is no longer just emotional and spiritual it is physical, tangible,
glaringly obvious every moment.

Illness makes even a simple life overwhelming. We only have the physical energy
for this moment, and that just barely. There is nothing extra left for the next
moment. Our reserve is empty. That is scary. How will we live? we wonder. How
will we do the things we are suppose to do? How will we function just on a basic
minimal level? It is very different to have to trust God with the future when that
future is our next second rather than ten years down the road.

So we wake up in the morning – exhausted- and find we need His strength to
force ourselves out of bed. Breakfast is put before us and for some reason we
need to borrow His power to eat. It hurts to sit, we need Him. We have to walk,
we need Him. Being with people - we haven’t the emotional stamina, again we
need Him. Stillness becomes unbearable, again we need Him. Working our job it
seems impossible to make it through, again we need Him, and again as always He
is there for us. Moment by moment; trust, dependence, connected always to
God’s never ending power, having to be supported each moment by His endless
supply of grace.

Nothing teaches you to live in the moment like illness does; because that is all you
have the strength for, this moment. We have to just take this second as it comes
and let God worry about the next one. Because He promises to be there in that
next moment ready to hand us the strength that we need. We would much
rather hoard our strength like money, food, and friends. We would like to have
an abundance of it, enough for today tomorrow and plenty of emergencies in
between. We feel safe then, confident, and maybe even a little invincible. But if
our life is always like that we may never learn the joy of truly relying on God for
our needs. We may never personally learn how faithful, strong, and kind He is.
Now that would be a true tragedy.

Yes, in ways it is much more ‘pleasant’ to trust God when our storehouse is full
rather than empty, but we miss something greater if that is the only kind of trust
we ever experience. There is nothing like seeing God come through for us and
personally discovering that His strength which He freely gives us never ever runs
out.

 Once we give up the fight there is an unbelievable sweetness to resting in Christ
from moment to moment to moment. It is unbelievably secure to just admit we
cannot do it and let go trusting Him physically, emotionally, spiritually. How
amazing to let Him run your life! I’m not sorry God brought me to such a low
place, I am not sorry I ran out of my own strength because if I had not I might
never have tasted His.