better broken

I remember asking God for healing one day when I had a strange thought invade.  At that still early date I had seen God working in my life through my illness and I was catching a vision of all He could do through me in this time.  I began to wonder if I could really even ask Him for healing when I knew that He would probably receive more glory from this brokenness of mine.  Think about it, who has motivated you the most in your walk with Jesus?  Who’s life has taught you the most about God?  Who is your favorite person in the Bible and why?  Which of the testimonies you have heard sticks with you to this day a continued source of encouragement?  


Is it not the people who have gone through the most who most inspire us?  Don’t we take comfort in knowing someone who has gone through a lot sustained by God’s grace?  For that matter have we forgotten that the world is watching and our testimony to them is made more effective by our faithfulness in trials?     

Perhaps it is not the most comforting thought you will ever find on this blog, I can’t say I was enamored with it at first myself, but the truth there kept drawing me.  What if I am better broken?  What if in the yuck of here and now is the best place I can serve Him?  If I can be a powerful broken vessel for Him do I truly want… should I really be begging for healing?

It would be easy to get trapped in the pit of ’oh great! I get to be stuck here forever’ but that is not the case at all.  One day it will probably bring God glory to heal us, and so He will.  No need to fear the future because we think we have figured out God’s plan.  We already know His ways are unsearchable.  But if that is not the case, if for the rest of our lives we will be better broken when it comes to His glory than we can rest in knowing that we are fulfilling our calling in Him.

Now I still ask God to heal me, but I only want healing if that is what’s best.  I ask for physical wholeness thinking of all the ways I could better serve Him with good health, but then I also think of the ways I could not learn and serve then - and I am content to leave it in His hands.    


Truly there is peace in this thought if we can just accept it.  It releases us from emotionally fighting against our sickness.  There is serenity, harmony, calm, in being God’s broken vessel.  Knowing He has us here for a very good reason.  Trusting He is using this for His own glory and not just our growth.  It is really rather special to be chosen for such a mission don’t you think?  It may not always feel so but think of how much God must love us and trust us to give us such an assignment.  “my beloved, will you love me in your pain?  Will you trust me in you pain?  Will you chose joy in your pain?  Will you point others to Me as your strength in your pain?”